Arsenal gripped by ‘new fear’ with trophy hopes in ‘peril’ as Spurs chase elusive Premier League title

Some of today’s maddest-looking headlines are in fact absolutely legit due to Mauricio Pochettino doing a madness.

But there’s also a hypothetical crisis gripping Arsenal and putting everything they’re aiming to achieve in grave peril, as long as you ignore the fact it hasn’t actually happened.

There’s also news of a Marinakis sacking at this early stage of proceedings and a supercomputer already in the mud at this early stage of proceedings.

Title deeds While it can be good fun for us all when someone in football says something ridiculous, we do wish people were more willing to stop and consider that it can be extremely distressing for Mediawatch. What are we supposed to do when all the big football sites have top stories with insane headlines that are an entirely fair and accurate reflection of the actual words someone has said?

We can’t do anything with any of these. Not this one from The Sun, for whom top spot on their football homepage is normally reserved for proper major football news like Erling Haaland’s caravan or Freddie Flintoff’s house.

We suppose we could have a little chortle about the Daily Mail and their endless fondness for headline pith…

…but really what’s the point?

Even the Daily Star have decided Poch’s pronouncements are big enough to knock their staple ‘jaw-dropping WAG’ content out of top spot.

Arsenal in CRISIS But while here at F365 we’ve been very busy mucking about with stuff that hasn’t happened thanks to Mauricio Pochettino, let it never be said we’re the only ones to over-indulge in hypothetical nonsense.

Take, for instance, this sky-falling-in panic attack from football.london prompted by Arsenal winning their opening Champions League game of the season to maintain a 100 per cent start to the season in all competitions.

Yes, peril and fear definitely seem like the correct emotions to be feeling right now about the defending Premier League champions and last season’s Champions League runners-up who have, and we can’t stress this enough, won all of their matches so far this season, including games against a top-four team from last season, a local rival widely regarded as major title challengers this season, and a team that has two Serie A titles and a runner-up finish in the last four seasons.

After another Martin Odegaard masterclass, we wouldn’t quite say Tom Canton’s glass is half-empty. It’s just that what it’s half-full of is warm p*ss.

Then Arsenal would be slightly less good, as is the case for all teams when their best players are not available. And remember; the headline describes this ‘What if the best players get injured, though?!!!?’ as a new fear.

If one of those players is injured, then Arsenal would have no choice but to call upon the striker they spent £60m on just over a year ago. Or the winger they spent £50m on just over a year ago. Or the number 10 they spent £60m on just over a year ago. Or… well, you get the idea with that.

This might be the most first-world problem in first-world-problem history. Mediawatch also cannot sleep at night for worrying about what might become of Arsenal if they have to use some of their £60m substitutes for some games as a result of an injury crisis that – and we simply cannot stress this enough – hasn’t actually happened.

There’s a sensational pay-off, though, to a piece that has spent almost its entire time sh*tting bricks about a crisis that hasn’t happened.

A shifted vibe? A grown optimism? But what about the fear, man? What about the peril?

Olympic meddle Artfully done by The Sun, this. Although we’re not sure you can really ALL-CAP an ordinal suffix, even when the number is undeniably absurd.

Even Mediawatch was briefly intrigued before remembering Nottingham Forest are not the only club where Mr Marinakis indulges his Main Character Energy. He’s also head honcho at Rio Ave and Olympiacos, and it is at the Greek club where he has satisfied his thirst for manager sackings.

Jose Luis Mendilibar has paid a heavy, heavy price for only winning two of the first three league games of the season on the back of a domestic treble last year as well as being the last manager of a non-English club to win one of the Thursday Euro pots back in 2024.

To be fair, it was long overdue. It had been two-and-a-half years since he’d canned an Olympiacos manager, and that is so not Marinakis rhythms.

What’s really interesting, though, is whether this is good news or bad news for Forest and Oliver Glasner. Having fed on a manager, while Marinakis now rest awhile? Or will he have a renewed taste for it?

Gala pie Remember the supercomputer that came up with an outlandish final order for the Champions League league phase? Yeah? With un unbeaten Galatasaray taking second place behind Real Madrid and four of England’s five teams heading into the play-off round?

Are we above noting that Galatasaray’s hopes of an unbeaten run through the league games is already over after matchday one? No, we are not.

Sabah ranks Sniffy stuff from Samuel Luckhurst in The Sun ahead of Manchester United’s return to the Champions League for the first time in over 1000 days against Sabah tonight.

In a piece largely spent lamenting United’s wretched record in the competition since reaching three finals in four years between 2008 and 2011, Luckhurst nonetheless notes:

There are two teams (and, in fairness, a day of the week) giving this fixture all the Europa vibes, fella.