Man Utd line-up sees them on same level as Tottenham; NOT a compliment

Long, long ago, back when the phrase ‘social media’ would have implied your best friend was a radio, there was another term doing the rounds. Its acronym was ABU: Anyone but United.

Everyone knows the story – Alex Ferguson was a bit meh for a few years, pressure was building, Mark Robins scored a goal, a corner was turned, and various iterations of Manchester United won almost everything for the next 20 years.

For fans of other clubs, it was a pain in the arse to watch United win all the time. And then buy all the best players from their rivals. Not that Arsenal or Chelsea were satisfying alternatives, but at least when they did win, it was someone else. Anybody else. ABU.

In many cases, anger or resentment comes from longing, and fans of every team in England secretly wished to be at the level of United. Although they never admitted it. “It must be boring to win all the time cos their fans have nothing to look forward to.” Yup, that reasoning definitely made us feel better.

As a fan of Tottenham in the 1990s and 2000s, the idea of being on Manchester United’s level was a pipedream. And even though the clubs were getting closer on the pitch in the 2010s, there was still a large gulf between the two. However, it’s only taken until the mid-2020s to say that finally, Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur are on the same plane.

Now, they’re clearly both equally sh*t teams, but there’s another factor at play. This summer, Spurs signed two of United’s three midfield targets while City took the other. Tottenham don’t ever sign players United want. And certainly shouldn’t do so a month after avoiding relegation while United qualified for the Champions League.

Arguing about which club is bigger or better is nothing more than a willy-waving exercise, but one thing that is always true is that the best players end up at the best teams. Real, Barca, Bayern, PSG, Man City and Liverpool appear to be the six who can attract the very best players right now in 2026.

Manchester United were part of that top echelon of teams once. Now they can’t outbid Spurs or convince players like Sandro Tonali or Mateus Fernandes that their futures lie at Old Trafford. If this were a decade ago, Spurs would have taken a punt on Andrey Santos, and Fernandes would have gone to United.

This levelling-out has been in the works for two seasons, back when Manchester United and Tottenham fought it out with West Ham over 15th, 16th and 17th. They then took part in a Europa League final featuring a winning goal so ugly only a blind mother could love it. That goal was the perfect representation of both teams right then. And more so now.

Since the David Moyes experiment ended, and he wrongly took all the blame, the feeling was that United were always one good managerial appointment and a couple of players away from being back on their perch. But it’s been 12 years and they aren’t. And they’ve fallen further from it. Aside from owning a creaking stadium and being led by a manager above his station, United can’t compete for players anymore, either.

Look at that team they put out against Everton at the weekend. Lammens, the entire back four, one of the middle two, Rashford; switch the kits with seven equivalent Everton players and the game probably still ends 2-2. Look at the United bench: Dorgu, Zirkzee, Mount, Darlow, Mazraoui. Woof.

Would it surprise anyone if, in three year’s time, those five bench names were respectively plying their trade at Fulham, Manchester United, Sky Sports, Chelsea, Colorado Rapids?

Yeah, Bruno is fantastic. Cunha, Mbeumo and Mainoo are good. And apparently, JJ Gabriel is gonna be brilliant some day. Is that really it, though?

The majority of people under 25 won’t remember United being one of the best teams in England. In the same way, fans in the 2000s didn’t remember Everton as a big team. The fear of playing Manchester United at home is completely gone, as is the trepidation of travelling to Old Trafford. And it’s because the players (sans Bruno) scare no one.

Last season was farcical for a few teams and United finished third by virtue of not being moronic and playing at least eight fewer games than every EFL team. That won’t happen again. “But United are in the Champions League this season!” “So? Spurs finished fourth in that very league nine months ago.”

When Team A wants to sign a player and Tottenham blows them out of the water with a bid, Team A is probably lower on the food chain. Obviously, that’s a stretch, but it is quite interesting that people talk of Spurs having had a disastrous first three weeks of the season when, at the same time, the actual Manchester United manager is saying his team has had a solid start and they will be ‘fine’.

By next Sunday evening, both teams could quite easily be level on points. What are the narratives then?

But for that scenario to arise, Tottenham would have to score a league goal for the first time since May. And unfortunately, Joao Palhinha is in Portugal.

United and Spurs are members of the Big Six, but that’s just money talking because neither would be included on a list of the best six teams in England. It’s an embryonic table in September, sure, but they aren’t even in the top 10 right now.

For so many years, the hope was that Tottenham would one day be on par with Manchester United. And now they are.

But times have changed, and there are four superior members of the Big Six that Spurs would have been better trying to emulate. Out of the five options available, they’ve drawn level with United. Anyone but United.