Tonali trainwreck headlines the latest Spurs humiliation as De Zerbi announces exodus

Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, Spurs always lose.

Especially after they spend well over £300m specifically to stop doing so. And especially against one of the chief victims of such largesse, who were powerless to prevent one of their most important players from jumping five places down the Premier League table. And especially after they have wedded themselves so deferentially to an apparently naked emperor.

As distant, disregarded cousins of the Big Six but bona fide members of that gilded family nonetheless, Spurs have embraced and exploited their position with particular relish in the last 12 months.

Their signings for fees this summer fall into two categories: those plucked from teams who have realised that trying to smash the glass ceiling is futile; and Manchester City cast-offs.

Two of the clubs most evidently railroaded by that first approach have equally savoured making this a historically bad start to the season.

Brentford have improved since losing Thomas Frank and Newcastle appear similarly invigorated by the departure of Sandro Tonali. Spurs have tried to transpose what they figured were the most desirable cogs in those machines, and have lost to both without scoring to go from consecutive 17th-placed finishes to bottom.

Can a football club come back to haunt a player? Tonali certainly seemed to be inhibited by something on this, his long-awaited home debut.

“I can’t wait to play in this stadium because I’ve played a few times against Tottenham with AC Milan in the Champions League and Newcastle,” the Italian international said this summer. A player with an unbeaten record in seven games against Spurs has lost his first two matches with them.

“I found a great atmosphere, I found every time a full stadium,” he added back then. The Spurs PA declaring pre-match that “we’ve spent and we’ve spent. We’re back. We’re going places. We’re huge” was perhaps not the sort of ambience Tonali had in mind.

Spurs are, in fairness, going places. But on this trajectory they are Blackpool, Huddersfield and possibly Stockport away.

There are caveats. Savio was sidelined before the game because Spurs forwards are particularly cursed. The wide options are limited enough that world champion right-back Pedro Porro and free-kick specialist Mathys Tel were starters behind a striker who signed on Thursday. And this remains a powerfully mentally fragile team, scarred by the past couple of seasons.

Spurs were the better team until they weren’t. Marmoush could have had a penalty. Jan Paul van Hecke almost scored from a corner. Other things happened. Then Newcastle broke. Nico Gonzalez launched a ball forward, his Magpies predecessor Tonali failed to nullify the threat of Anthony Elanga and the forward latched onto Amar Dedic’s knockdown before scoring with a clever turn and finish.

Ten minutes later, Yoane Wissa’s improvised flick from a Nick Woltemade back-post header condemned Spurs to a humiliating home defeat.

Roberto De Zerbi seems entirely unperturbed, despite his team looking unfit and unprepared for a Premier League campaign which does curiously appear to have caught a handful of teams entirely off-guard.

He said simply that it was an “unfair result” and that it was “normal for a new team”.

Both sides, by the way, used five summer signings. And Spurs were at home. And have a manager appointed more than three and a half weeks ago; Matthias Jaissle has nevertheless coped exceptionally well in far tougher circumstances.

De Zerbi also explained that three players – Richarlison, Kevin Danso and Pape Matar Sarr – all want to leave a squad far from blessed with depth or fortune with injuries, around the same time it was publicly revealed that Cody Gakpo had rejected the opportunity to join this stuttering revolution.

The Spurs manager calmly added that he knows “very well where I’m going”. Until any sort of evidence to the contrary is provided, that destination does seem to be a third successive relegation battle, and a world record for the most expensive in history at that.