Key questions remain unanswered about the Man City Scandal – but are there one, three or seven?

It’s another Man City-dominated Mediawatch to the surprise of literally nobody, with the Daily Mirror asking three questions, or seven questions or more accurately one question yet to be answered, Harry Kane issuing a damning verdict on it all and Pep Guardiola breaking a silence.

Plus there’s some JJ Gabriel nonsense because even in the depth of their collapse City still aren’t the only show in Manchester.

It seems to Mediawatch that Andy Dunn poses a pretty reasonable question in his latest Mirror column: were Man City still cheating after 2018?

But we struggle to get entirely on board with how the Mirror have attempted to frame that piece.

We’re going to try very hard to ignore just how hard that ‘3’ rather than ‘Three’ is making our teeth itch, because the actual point here is that Dunn does not in fact pose three or even, shudder, 3 questions that still must be answered.

Lads, those are all the same question. A fair and valid question. But not three questions. And definitely not 3 questions.

But just as the Mirror ask did City just stop? so we must ask why they stopped at three? Given that elsewhere Dunn says:

And

We make that seven – or, if you absolutely insist, 7 – questions that still must be answered.

While also revealing that Dunn has warmed enormously to a theme that he clearly feels allows him to say City were still cheating after 2018 without actually saying City were still cheating after 2018.

Kane unable

Mirror website headline:

Harry Kane quote:

A reminder that Man City aren’t the only cheats. And we’re not talking about Harry Kane here, even if he does sometimes go to ground too easily.

Football friends

Pep Guardiola in 2022:

Pep Guardiola in 2026:

Perhaps the most astonishing thing to come from all of these shenanigans is the discovery that he really was a bald fraud all along. What a twist.

Remember in the dim and distant past of a couple of weeks ago when the biggest existential crisis befalling a huge Manchester football club was the fact a 15-year-old with a bolshy dad didn’t want to play football for them any more? Better times. Simpler times.

But worry not. The JJ Gabriel discourse may have taken a back seat but it hasn’t disappeared altogether. Oh dear me no. The Daily Express bring us a significant update.

Just in case you’re in any doubt about the significance of this JJ U-turn, the standfirst doubles down.

See? A ‘transfer U-turn’. Only one thing a ‘transfer U-turn’ from a player who has stated a desire to leave can reasonably mean, isn’t there? Has to be that he wants to stay, doesn’t it?

LOL, LMAO etc. Obviously it doesn’t mean that. But the real fun was never in ‘does it mean what it says it means’ because we all know it doesn’t. No, the fun here lies in what has actually happened that has given the Express what they consider sufficient artistic licence elasticity for that headline.

You almost have to grudgingly admire the hustle. Almost.

There’s more, though.

You can’t tease us like that, Daily Express! Please, we beg, find out immediately. The suspense is killing us.

In true 3 questions style:

How did JJ Gabriel reinstate his Instagram posts?

By what method were JJ Gabriel’s Instagram posts restored?